Sunday, 10 March 2013

A difficult day - Une journée difficile

Bonjour les gens beaux,

In the process of deciding to write this blog I made a decision to absolutely be myself in writing it. For me this means being 100% candid and honest. Even on difficult matters, I feel that I must be true to myself.

Today is Mother's day. 
I'd love to be writing a post about the incomparable joy of motherly love, but I just can't. Sadly, for me and my little sister, mother's day has become a very difficult day. In all the media coverage of mother's day it is often forgotten that for many, many people the mother-daughter relationship is not all rosy. For many it is one of the hardest relationships in the world.

Mine and my sister's relationships with our mum are very strained due to mental health (depression) and addiction problems that we have begged her to seek help for but she refuses to acknowledge and, along side, the fact we are three strong minded women - a problem I imagine many mother and daughters have. That's not to say we don't love her very deeply, after all you only get one mum, but does mean that life is not as picture perfect as the endless mother's day card poems might have you believe. 
So, today I am the voice of those of us who, for whatever reason, mother's day will be a very difficult day. We must also not forget the millions of us who, like my gorgeous Mr Peach and his brothers, only wish that their mothers were still here to celebrate with. Those for whom mother's day is equally as difficult, but for a wholly different reason.
Today I am going to visit my mum, with a carefully selected card and gift (a voucher for a local spa, no less) - both of which I already know will be received wholly unappreciatively. (She has told my little sister that she is going to burn her card and that she doesn't want us with her today) But, I am doing so because in this crazy world, driven by supermarket marketing teams and the like, I am obliged to at least pretend that we could have some semblance of a normal mother-daughter relationship. 
Instead, I will try to salvage just a little gold from this ship-wreck of a day. I will remember that I am not the only person for whom today is difficult and be thankful that at least I have been blessed with my lovely sister, with whom I can share the burdensome love of a difficult mum. 

It's also not to say that there aren't times, beautiful little ray of sunshine times, where that relationship reverts back to some sense of normality and we are given a glimpse back to the raw motherly love of our early childhood....a teasing peak of what might have been. 

I could write a record of previous mother's days gone very wrong. But, I won't. 

Sorry for dragging down the tone of the day. Have a wonderful mother's day and please, if you are able, give your mum an extra hug today, for those of us who, for whatever reason, are not able to.
Mlle Peche xx

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